This essay was published by Tricycle on March 8, 2025 and is accessible with a free trial subscription. It is adapted from a chapter in my book Practicing Safe Zen.
How to Choose a Sangha
On discerning healthy Buddhist communities from cultish enterprises
Julie A. Nelson 
Personally I’m impressed
LikeLike
Wow. I look forward to reading your book. I could have used the guidance you offer through the years in the different paths I wove my practice through. I’ve felt frustrated my times in my attempt to get closer to a teacher (get their acknowledgment to feed my ego). But either my intuition, or gut feeling, or angels had me turn away from several groups. It’s funny isn’t it? It can feel lonely when you’re actually true to yourself. I was recently practicing with a Tibetan group and an awesome, very forward thinking woman rinpoche but after a while I felt myself doing this “oh she’s really amazing” thing, you know? I found myself adoring her and felt it was inappropriate for me to continue. Even though I found the teachings rich and supportive, I know myself well enough that it was healthier to not be part of the group. Afterwards, I looked at the organization that had been built up around her for the past 20 years and I thought, no, this path (Tibetan Buddhism) is still deeply entrenched in patriarchy and no matter how hard she may try, there still is that feeling of top/down. Different levels of sangha based on what you can afford. It’s all been capitalized…..I could go on. Right now, I’ve a pretty simple but daily practice of shikintaza and a meditation mentor that offers instruction to anyone regardless of what they can pay. Ownership to stewardship. The age of teacher/student/guru are over.
Thank you for your practice and writing this book.
In gassho,
Mary
LikeLike
Thanks for your comment, Mary. It’s the book I wish I had had, too!
LikeLike